


don't dream it's over

by emmerrr



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-14
Updated: 2018-09-14
Packaged: 2019-07-12 08:33:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15991541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emmerrr/pseuds/emmerrr
Summary: Adam stands in the kitchen for a moment and shivers slightly. It’s Saturday morning, and it’s not quite seven; he normally wouldn’t be up for at least another couple of hours. So it’s not particularly fair of him to be annoyed that Ronan wasn’t in bed, and that he’s not in the house, and that he’s not in Adam’s eyeline right this second.It was the dream. And that’s all it was. A dream.





	don't dream it's over

**Author's Note:**

  * For [adamganseys](https://archiveofourown.org/users/adamganseys/gifts).



> written to fulfil the prompts: "I think I’m in love with you and that scares the hell out of me" and "I dreamt about you last night"

Adam wakes with a start, jolting upright, heart racing.

He looks to his right to find the other side of the bed empty, and when he reaches out a hand, it’s cold.

Ronan sleeps odd hours and often likes to get chores done early, so it’s not completely out of the ordinary for him not to be there, but Adam can’t deny that he prefers not to wake up alone.

He can’t help the unease as he drags himself out of bed and pulls on a discarded pair of sweats and the nearest hoodie, both of which are Ronan’s. He pads down the stairs but everything is quiet, which means Ronan and Opal are somewhere outside.

Adam stands in the kitchen for a moment and shivers slightly. It’s Saturday morning, and it’s not quite seven; he normally wouldn’t be up for at least another couple of hours. So it’s not particularly fair of him to be annoyed that Ronan wasn’t in bed, and that he’s not in the house, and that he’s not in Adam’s eyeline right this second.

It was the dream. And that’s all it was. A dream.

Adam drags a hand down his face and, still on edge, tracks down an old pair of Ronan’s wellies. It rained a lot the night before, so they’re definitely needed, and Adam makes his way outside, feeling a small amount of satisfaction at the sound of squelching mud beneath his feet as he begins his search for Ronan.

Admittedly, it doesn’t take long.

He spots them over by one of the back fields; Ronan fixing a broken part of the fence with a toolbox at his feet, Opal running up and down the length of the fence, jumping in every puddle she finds. She’s absolutely  _covered_ in mud, and Adam spots Chainsaw perched on the roof of one of the old barns, watching from a safe distance.

Opal spots him first and tears off towards him with an almost birdlike screech. Ronan looks up at her noise, but makes no move towards Adam, and Adam can’t even really tell what his expression is doing yet, he’s not close enough.

It only takes a few seconds for Opal to reach him, and she barrels into him like a miniature battering ram before grabbing his hand and leading him onwards towards Ronan.

“Good morning, Opal,” Adam says, and she gives him a feral grin, all teeth.

She lets go of his hand for the last few feet and starts running along the fence again, her energy boundless. Ronan had been crouched down by the fence but he stands up when Adam gets close enough and gives him a quick once over.

“Parrish. You’re up early.”

Adam shrugs. He’s still tired, so maybe he should have tried to get back to sleep, but he couldn’t help it. He feels unsettled, and he wants comfort, but he doesn’t want to ask for it, and he wants to talk about it but he doesn’t know how to bring it up. He’s upset at Ronan, which he knows isn’t fair.

It was just a dream.

“I woke up and you were gone,” he says at last, and he can’t quite keep the slight accusation out of his tone.

Ronan narrows his eyes for a second, trying to gauge Adam’s mood; trying to figure out if something has happened or if Adam is just cranky because it’s the morning.

His expression quickly evens out. “I’m nearly done here, I was going to come back up when I was finished. Didn’t think you’d miss me.”

Adam crosses his arms. “Well I did.”

Ronan tilts his head to the side in question, asking without actually asking. Adam juts his chin out, defiant, not wanting to give an inch first.

After a moment, Ronan lets out a small, frustrated huff. “What’s wrong?”

Something in Adam’s heart melts a little. Communication remains a thorn in their side, but they’re working on it, and it means the world to Adam that Ronan’s taken the first step this morning. It makes it easier to take the next one.

He moves closer, and Ronan lifts a hand halfway towards Adam’s face before dropping it again, because he’s not sure if they’re in a fight. He never takes anything for granted with Adam.

“It’s stupid,” Adam says. “ But I had a—I dreamt about you last night.”

Ronan’s mouth curves in a salacious smile. “Oh  _really?”_

Adam scowls. “Mind out of the gutter, Lynch, it wasn’t that kind of dream.”

Immediately, Ronan’s expression sobers, and this time he commits to reaching out, cupping Adam’s cheek with a gentle hand. Adam leans into it, breathing in Ronan’s familiar scent. Moss and mist and rain, or something; something unnameable and yet indisputably Ronan.

Ronan knows all about bad dreams.

“What happened? You don’t have to tell me. But if I was in it—”

“It’s okay, I’ll…” Adam reaches up to lightly grip Ronan’s wrist, and together they turn and lean against the sturdier part of the fence, side by side. He lets the silence dangle for a minute while he gathers his thoughts, and Ronan doesn’t push him; he simply waits until Adam is ready.

“It was—it felt real, that’s all, but it was…it was next year.” He swallows. “At college. And you never called. You never visited. And in the break when I came back here…”

“…We fought?” Ronan guesses.

“No,” Adam says, and he’s speaking so quietly now he’s surprised Ronan can still hear him. “It was like you didn’t even  _care_ enough to fight. You were right there, and I was right there, and you weren’t angry or sad or anything. You just told me that this—you and me—wasn’t worth your time and you didn’t see the point anymore. And then you asked me to leave.”

Adam’s still looking forward, so he doesn’t exactly see Ronan inch closer, but he’s aware of it.

“Adam,” Ronan starts.

“Don’t apologise,” Adam interrupts, and he lifts his head finally to look at Ronan.

Ronan shakes his head. “I wasn’t gonna.”

“Good. I know that it was just a dream, it wasn’t you. It’s just that it was one of those dreams where I couldn’t tell I was dreaming until I woke up.”

“Love those,” Ronan says dryly, and Adam manages a small smile.

Opal rockets back up to them and she tugs at Adam’s sleeve, holding out a pretty pebble she’s found.

“That’s beautiful,” he tells her, and she beams up at him. There’s bark between her teeth.

“Opal,” Ronan says. “Go and find me five snails.” She growls at him, and more sternly, he says, “ _Go.”_

And she does go, because Opal likes games like this; it’s just that her need to be difficult at all times sometimes gets in the way.

Once she’s out of sight, off in the undergrowth, Ronan takes Adam’s hand and pulls him into his arms.

There is nothing more comforting than this; being utterly surrounded by Ronan, cocooned and warm and safe. Adam pushes his face into Ronan’s shoulder and wraps his arms around Ronan, hands clutching desperately in the back of Ronan’s hoodie. 

“Adam, I know that you know that was only a dream, and so yeah, obviously I’m not gonna fucking apologise for what dream-me said to you, even though I wanna go into your dreamscape and punch him in the nuts for it. But I do want to say this, because I think it’s important.”

Adam loosens his hold a little and steps back, but stays in Ronan’s orbit. Ronan kisses him on the tip of his nose before he says his piece.

“I hate my phone, but I’m gonna fucking use it, every day, when you go to college. I will visit whenever you fucking want me to, and Adam,  _please_ believe me when I say that you will always,  _always_ have a home here. With me. Wherever I am.”

And the thing is that Adam really  _does_ believe that. It’s such an unfamiliar feeling that it makes him shiver, for reasons that have nothing to do with the early morning chill.

“Ronan,” he says hoarsely, and it’s almost a plea. Ronan presses a kiss to his temple and then smooths some of the hair back out of Adam’s face where it’s still a bit matted from sleep.

“Adam, what? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Adam says. “It’s just that I think I’m in love with you and that scares the hell out of me.”

This isn’t entirely true; Adam doesn’t think, he  _knows_. And this wasn’t how he was supposed to say it.

“I love you,” he says, firmer this time. Fiercely. He looks Ronan in the eyes when he says it and sees them widen.

Ronan’s expression does something very complicated, and his breath catches in his throat. When he finally finds his voice, it’s to say, “Why does that scare you?”

“Because I know it’s going to hurt when I leave.”

It’s the simplest, most unavoidable reason, and Ronan nods slowly. “Yeah.”

In a few short months, Adam leaves for college. He’s beyond excited, but hot on the tails of that, he’s terrified, because he keeps imagining it, and in his imagination, he misses Ronan already.

If it hurts  _now,_ it’ll undoubtedly hurt more later. The leaving was never supposed to hurt.

But he’s also going to come back again, and that never used to be part of the plan. Now it’s an important part, and it doesn’t frighten Adam like he thought it might.

So yeah, it’ll hurt, but in a good way. Because it’s a privilege to love and be loved and Ronan is always going to be worth the effort.

“I’m coming back, though, Ronan. You know that, right? I’m coming back, if you’ll have me.”

“You fucking know I will,” Ronan says, but there’s a relief there now. “And fuck, I love you, Adam. You already knew that. But I do.”

Knowing it already doesn’t mean hearing it means any less. The words settle, warm, somewhere in Adam’s chest. He’s going to keep them there, and replay them anytime he wants.

He smiles and leans back into Ronan, tilting his head up in search of the kiss that he knows will taste all the sweeter in the wake of their little confessions.

When they finally stop kissing, minutes or hours or days later, Adam grins. “I’m sorry I was mad at you because of what fake dream-Ronan said.”

“What you should be sorry for is getting mud all over my clothes,” Ronan says with a raised eyebrow. 

Adam looks down at his borrowed clothes to see mud smeared all over his front from where Opal crashed into him, and it’s mirrored on the hoodie Ronan’s wearing from where they’ve been clutched together.

“Uh…oops,” Adam says.

“‘S’okay,” Ronan says with a shrug. “It’s laundry day anyway.”

Adam smiles. “So it is.”

**Author's Note:**

> oh my god could this fic title have possibly been any more on the nose?
> 
> the answer is no. no it couldn't.


End file.
